Coursework First draft

Creative writing

Waking up surrounded by a thick blanket the size of a cloud, a smell of the old wood built in this chalet gave me instant flashbacks of my childhood. I knew it was going to be a good day. I turn around to look out side the window and it was as if a child’s Christmas dream was right in front of me, a monstrous amount of snow hailing and piling up to at least up to my knees. I slowly go down stairs hearing the creaking of the wooden stairs and also the mouth-watering,sizzling sound of breakfast, my favorite breakfast, sausage and eggs. I sit down and I grab the bread fresh from the bakery and dip it into the dull yellow yolk and take a bite, the luscious taste, the amazing view of snow and the warm coziness around me is wanting me to stay here forever. I look at the sausage still sizzling and changing colour. This was the best way to wake up in the life of a skier

I finished my breakfast and now I am ready to go out and relax with the amazing scene of mother nature and amazing smell of fresh air in the high mountains. As I leave the chalet I hear the fresh snow crunching underneath my enormous moon boots. and see vibrant colors where ever I look , the pearl white snow, the baby blue sky and the little chalets across the whole resort ‘La Plagne’. I wait for the bus and I still smell the fresh baguettes from the bakery leaving me dazed and also the laughter of little kids in the background. The bus arrived and as I enter I feel the warm air slap my face as I enter it. People talking in excitement about how beautiful the mountains are looking, but I just sat back, closed my eyes and was waiting until I arrived.

Waking up from the excitement of people as I woke up I quickly try to leave the bus first and it was that gorgeous smell again, the fresh air and snow. I breathe through my nose and out my mouth and I see the vapor leave my mouth like volcano. I click my skis into space and I was ready to enjoy this beautiful day. The snow freshly patterned on the hills felt like I was flying and in a matter of seconds I arrive at the ski lifts. I get on the ski lifts and I feel the fierce wind attacking my face. I lift my balaclava up and I arrived at the top, slowly start going down the amazing slopes. Hearing the rustling of the trees as I pass by like a torpedo at high speeds is one of the reasons I come here, the view from the sky-high altitude from here leaves me astonished as I can see everything in this resort.

I reach the bottom of the slope and I go inside to order a coffee for my self. I sit down and take a sip of the boiling coffee and it runs down my throat warming up my whole body in a matter of seconds. As usual i thought i have been here for a few minutes, but unfortunatley my time is up in my favourite place, my second home, the French alps.

It was time to say goodbye. I look at the whole setting and it blows my mind, the clouds closing leaves me surrounded with a mysterious mist and a howling wind. I wait for the bus and I hear little kids asking for one more go on the slopes, I hear people talking about how much fun they had. I enter the bus and I sleep as fast as a baby. When we arrived I was in a deep sleep but the bus driver wakes me up and apologizes for having to wake me up. I get up stairs and the heavy snow continues to fall. The noise of the old stairs carry on creaking. I have a quick shower and I get ready to pack my bags for a miserable journey back to London.

 

 

 

 

 

2 Comments

  1. Targets
    1) Be consistent with your use of tenses – are you writing in the same tense throughout?
    2) Do you need to have so many characters? The purpose of this piece, was to write a description of one place at two different times of day. Focus on one setting and try to make your feelings about the surroundings clear to us. If this is your favourite ski resort, then try to give us n idea of why and really illutrate its natural beauty. Try to develop this much more than the horror aspects.
    3) Start with a clear plan – where are you? What can you see? What can you hear? Taste? Touch? Smell?

  2. Look at this sentence: ‘I sit down and I grab the crispy bread and dip it in to the vibrant yellow yolk and take a bite, the luscious taste the amazing view of snow and the warm cosiness around me is wanting me to stay here forever.’ is the yoke really a ‘vibrant’ yellow. Carefully evaluate your vocabulary choices throughout and decide which words suit your tone best.

    Proof-read and edit sentence structure and spelling throughout.

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